Blown Away
by hann789
Summary: She's done running. Done fighting. She's letting the rest of her wall blow away on the wind. And she's hoping that he's willing to take that ride with her. Spoilers for new season and the promo. Kate/Rick
1. Chapter 1

A**/N: I've lost count on how many times I've watched the promo for the season premier. It's so much amazingness wrapped up into too few seconds, but it has me so excited for this new season. With that being said…my muse went into overdrive. And this is what came of that. It'll be a multi-chapter, mostly because what I've already written is way longer than the oneshot I had thought I was writing. It's been awhile since I've posted in here, but I hope you enjoy! **

**Spoilers for the Promos and upcoming season.**

**Disclaimer: If only…**

…

He woke suddenly. His eyes strained against the brightness of the mid-morning sunshine filtering through the floor to ceiling curtains and he stretched out the sleepy kinks in his muscles. When he felt for a body next to him, his disappointment came out in the form of a sigh as he only felt the coolness of the Egyptian cotton sheets. His eyes filtered over his bedroom and he couldn't keep the grin off his face when he notice her boots were haphazardly laying on the floor near the door and his pants and boxers were in a pile on the floor.

He propped himself up on his elbows and pressed to listen for signs that Kate was somewhere in the vicinity. The door to the bathroom was wide open and appeared empty. When he started to get up the door to his bedroom started to open slowly and he sat back, unable to wipe the grin off of his face.

Kate stepped through the door, balancing a cup of coffee in one of her hands with a book tucked under her arm, dressed in only one of white dress shirts that hit her at mid-calf, with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows.

Richard Castle didn't even attempt to keep the smugness out of his voice when he finally spoke.

"So it wasn't a dream."

Kate looked startled for a minute but when her eyes met his, the smile on her face grew and she shook her head. "No, it wasn't a dream."

"Good."

She walked over to his side of the bed and took a sip of her coffee before setting it and the book down on the bedside table and tucking her feet up under her on the bed.

"So…you liked it?"

His answer was automatic and enthusiastic. "Yeah."

She smiled, catching her bottom lip between before answering, "me too."

"I'd like to do it again."

The cockiness in his voice made her laugh but she didn't stop his fingers when they started working down the buttons of his dress shirt. Kate leaned in and closed the distance between their lips. The kiss was sweet and only slightly tentative before Castle deepened it.

"I have to be dreaming." His voice was breathless and quiet when he said the words.

"Not dreaming," Kate assured him against his lips and they resumed their deepened kiss.

When Castle's phone started playing the theme song to COPS, Rick groaned and Kate sat back and wrapped her arms around her front.

"Let me guess," she started with a chuckle, "one of the boys?"

"Or the precinct."

"It won't be the precinct."

Castle looked at her with a face that showed she was going to have to explain that one before finding his jeans on the floor to dig his phone out of the pocket.

"It's Esposito," Castle told her when he finally found his phone, "should I answer?"

Kate shrugged and he pressed the accept and placed the phone to his ear.

"Hey Esposito…yeah…well, no…but…slow down…"

Kate worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she listened to Castle's half of the conversation with Esposito, until she finally grabbed the phone out of Castle's hand.

"Hey Javi."

"Beckett?"

"Yeah it's me," she answered while she threaded her current free hand's fingers through Rick's. "Stop yelling at Castle okay?"

"I wasn't yelling…"

"He wasn't yelling…"

The two men answered at once and Kate choked back a chuckle.

"Okay so you weren't yelling," Kate relented, "what's up?"

"You have to be kidding me," Esposito answered, "you resigned and disappeared. Your phone is off and you have Lanie worried sick. I was calling Castle to see if he'd heard from you. Apparently…he has."

"Funny."

"Just an observation."

"I'm fine Javi, promise."

"Bull shit."

"I'd rather not go into this right now," Kate told him firmly. "I have another conversation I need to have before I go through it with anyone else."

"I get it. What can I tell Lanie?"

"That I'm fine and I'll call her later."

"Don't think she's going to go for that one."

"She doesn't have a choice. Don't even think about telling her where I am, got it?"

"Got it boss."

"Javi…I'm not your…never mind. Later. Have you talked to Kevin?"

"I'm not talking to him."

"Javier Esposito. That's ridiculous."

"I don't agree with that."

Kate sighed, "I guess that is something else we're going to have to talk about later then. We need to get together and talk. All of us. I'll call you and Lanie later to set it up, okay?"

"Fine."

"Good. Now, I'm going to hang up. Don't tell Lanie anything."

When she hung up the phone and set it on the nightstand she turned back to Castle, who was looking completely confused, and molded her way into his arms. They sat there, together and in silence, for several minutes before Kate started talking.

"I should have listened to you. I should have…I should have done so many things differently. But, I can't change what happened now. Now, now I just have to move forward."

"Kate…"

"Shh," she interrupted back. "There is a lot to say Rick. A lot to apologize for and I need to be able to say it all. Can you give me some uninterrupted time before you start asking questions?"

Rick nodded and was rewarded with a brief kiss before Kate continued.

"I couldn't get what you had told me, what you admitted to me out of my head. It blinded me in anger. I know why you did what you did, but in the moment, I couldn't see that. I could only see the betrayal. It pushed me even harder to bring down Maddox once and for all. Javi found him. Used a car rental place to match him with the long-term hotel he'd been renting. Kevin didn't like the idea of me going in without backup. Javi said he'd come along and we made Kevin stay behind. I think we told him to run phone records or something, I don't even really remember now. We just went. We found his place all right. He had Montgomery's wedding albums out and there was a picture missing. Like he'd been looking for someone.

"Well I think it was then that I finally started thinking clearly. Or at least, mostly clearly. Decided to call it in, request backup. Go by the book. I wanted him Castle. I wanted him and I was going to do whatever it took to take him down. He was unfortunately, a step ahead of us though. He took Javi out with almost no effort. About knocked me out there too. But I chased him and he led me to the roof. There was a struggle. He overpowered me. He was faster, stronger and it didn't take long for me to realize that there was no way I could stand up to him on my own.

"He basically threw me off the side of the building. I was holding on with my fingers as he stood over me with his menacing smile and then just walked away. I was trying desperately to hold on when I thought I heard your voice calling me. I yelled back. Begged you to find me before I lost the grip that was quickly slipping and I swear Castle, I heard your voice in my head. It was in that moment; hanging on to that concrete ledge with all my strength and hearing you call me that I knew…I knew that I screwed up. That I ruined everything. That I ruined us. It wasn't you though. It was Kevin and a whole host of the S.W.A.T. team and Gates."

She wiped at the tears that were making their way down her face before she looked up to meet his eyes.

"Javi and I were both taken to the hospital and then when we were released summoned to Gates' office. She read us the riot act. With every right to, I won't deny that. But the whole thing was building up inside of me. She was berating us and all I could think about was just seeing you. I had to see you. The suspensions were coming. I knew that the minute I saw Gates on the roof. I was almost surprised she didn't fire us on the spot. But I was standing in her office, listening to her suspend us and suddenly nothing mattered but getting to you. My mother's case didn't matter, Maddox didn't matter, nothing…

"I set my badge down and told her I resigned."

She could feel Castle inhale at that, but was thankful that he kept his word and didn't interrupt.

"I packed up my personal items from my desk and left. I went and visited my mom's gravesite first. I guess I wanted to apologize for failing her. Or at least, what I felt was failing her, but I didn't fail her because I didn't solve her murder. I failed her because I let myself get so caught up in her death and her case that I forgot to let myself live my own life. It may sound cheesy, but it's true. I thought I couldn't have my own life before I solved her murder, but I think that I was using that as a crutch. And I'm tired of living my life with a limp. I'm ready to take everything on full force. I let the rest of my walls fall down there."

She smiled and brought his fingers that were interlocked with hers to her lips and kissed his knuckles.

"I went to our park. The one we sat on the swings and talked after I got back last fall. It was pouring and I was sitting there reliving that conversation in my head and kicking myself for not being honest with you there. Rick, I regret not telling you that I remember that day in the cemetery. I was scared and vulnerable and I didn't know how to face it all, but I shouldn't have lied to you.

"You are so important to me Rick. You changed my life and I could never repay you for that. You taught me how to have fun again. And most importantly you taught me that someone like you could love me. I don't know if I'll ever be able to make it up to you, but I want to try. I just want you. I don't need anything else in my life as long as you are in it. Last night…well it was pretty perfect for me. I don't regret a thing. And I hope you don't either."

…

**A/N: It's not really a cliffhanger…but this felt like the most natural place to break for now. Please let me know what you think. Reviews are what keep me writing and posting. Thanks for reading y'all!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who favorited/followed/reviewed the first chapter of this story! Hope you enjoy chapter 2!**

**Disclaimer: I won't ever own them…**

….

They were both silent for a minute after Kate's speech and she refused to look into his eyes. Her head was rested on his bare chest, her ear right above his heart and she could hear it beating. His hands were rubbing circles on her back and she hugged him close to her.

"Are you going to say anything?"

"I'm trying to determine where to start."

Kate nodded against his chest, "okay."

She wasn't sure how much time had past when she heard Rick sigh. She pulled back and looked up at him and tears started to form in her eyes when she saw the tear stains on his cheeks. She kissed both cheeks before claiming his mouth again with hers and he responded immediately. When they finally broke for air she sat back only barely, afraid to lose contact with him.

"Rick?"

"First, there are no regrets about last night. "

"Good."

"But…"

"But what?"

"With everything else? I should have been there with you. I should have…I dunno, done something…"

"No," Kate said firmly and with a shake of her head. "I'm not going to let you blame yourself for any of this. You did do something, you tried to stop me. I'm the one that didn't listen. I'm the one that ran straight into a fight and brought Esposito down with me. I'm the one to blame here for this. Not you. I'm going to let you think that. Besides, I'm kind of glad you weren't there Castle. Had it been you with me, instead of Esposito, Maddox…he could have killed you. Even with Esposito's combat training he was overpowered. I don't want to think about what the outcome would have been if it had been you."

"But…"

"No buts," Kate insisted with a smile. "I should have listened to you before. I shouldn't have let my…obsession make me so blind."

"We both made mistakes with that Kate," Castle answered with a sad smile, "but we can only move forward now. And as long as moving forward means you in my bed."

Kate smirked. "Don't think you're going to get rid of me now Castle. Besides, now that I'm jobless I'm going to need a rich boyfriend to support me."

She meant the comment as a joke but the underlying emotion came through and she felt herself start to realize just what her decision really meant.

"God, I quit my job."

"Yeah," Castle started, "that's something else we're going to need to talk about to. When you're ready to. No rush."

"I didn't see like there was any other option. I was so mad about what Gates was saying and what she was accusing us of and I just…I just didn't want to hear it anymore. I wanted out of there. I wanted to fix things with you and I dunno…I think I was saying the words before I even realized what I was saying. I don't know who I am without the job Rick. I've always been the job. How do I do Kate?"

"Do you want to be just Kate?"

"I want us to work."

Castle leaned back and forced her to meet his eyes. "We're going to work Kate. Whether you have a badge or not, we're going to work. I'm not going to let this go. So I don't want you even thinking about that. You need to do what you want."

"I want to be with you."

"Good," Castle assured her, "because that's happened. But I was talking a career. I mean, if you don't want to work another day in your life I have more than enough money to support us for several lifetimes. But, I don't know if I can see you being happy doing that."

"I don't know if I can separate myself from the case if I'm still a detective. What if I get pulled back into it again?"

"You'll have me to keep you from going back down the rabbit hole. And Javi and Kevin. And Gates, I'm sure too. She respects you, whether she's upset with you at the moment or not, she respects you and what you do for the victims."

"I know…"

"Maybe…maybe you should go and talk to Gates. See if it is too late to take back your resignation. I doubt she's filed all the paperwork yet And…"

"I'll think about it."

"Okay."

It went silent again and Castle could nearly feel the gears in Kate's head turning. So many things had changed in the manner of hours that he was having a hard time keeping up. He could only imagine what her thought process was.

Before either could start talking again, Castle's phone started going off again. He wasn't surprised to find Ryan's name flashing across the screen this time.

"It's Ryan, should I answer?"

"He'll keep calling if you don't," Kate answered, "and I should talk to him too."

Castle nodded and placed the phone to his ear. "Hey Ryan."

"Castle have you seen Beckett since yesterday? Her phone is off and…some things went down and I just don't know. Lanie says she hasn't seen her and Javi won't talk to me. And I know she said that you were 'off the team' but I just thought…"

"Slow down Kevin," Castle answered with a sigh, "Kate's fine. She's here."

"Thank god." Kevin Ryan's voice audibly relaxed. "Can you put her on speaker? I need to talk to…both of you."

"Sure," Castle told him quickly and pushed a few buttons before Kevin's voice filled the room. "You're on speaker Kev."

"There have been some…developments…"

"What are you talking about Kevin?" Beckett spoke up. "I resigned Kevin, you shouldn't be talking to me about any of this…"

"You may have resigned, but Gates made it perfectly clear to the rest of us that you and Javi were suspended, I think she's hoping to talk you into coming back…but that is besides the point right now. I'm sending a car to pick you both up and bring you down to the precinct. We shouldn't do this over the phone…"

"Kevin," Beckett interrupted, her brain attempting to take everything in, "what are you trying to say? Are we in danger?"

There was a pause that spoke volumes to both Castle and Beckett and they looked at each as Ryan started to speak again.

"We think so. I'll fill you in when you get here. We're just taking precautions."

"Precautions?"

"Make the uni's that come for you give you the password I'm about to tell you before you leave with them. And Castle…not to scare you, or your family, but I would make sure that your mom and Alexis are out of town for a few days."

"I'll arrange it."

"Make the uni's give you the password, don't forget, it's 'feed the birds'. They should be there soon, like twenty minutes."

"Thanks Kevin."

"You got it."

They got off the phone quickly and Beckett turned to Castle, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. "Where is Alexis and Martha?"

"Mother is in the Hamptons for the weekend. But I'll call her and convince her to stay there longer if I need to. And Alexis had an overnight graduation party at a friends house. I'll see if she wants to go out to the Hamptons or stay with Paige. Just precautions."

"God I'm so sorry for dragging your family into this."

"Hey," Castle said as he was shaking his head, "no. Don't…don't do that. I don't care if this is too soon or whatnot, but you're my family too Kate. I'm concerned about mother and Alexis, but they'll be fine. I'm worried about you too. Kevin sounded…odd. I have a bad feeling about it."

"Me too."

"Let's get ready to go. Do you wanna shower really quick, we don't have much time…"

"Yeah," Kate answered affirmatively, "and uh…"

"What is it?"

"Do you think your mother or Alexis might have some clothes I could borrow? I threw my stuff in the washer before I made coffee, but they won't be dry in time…"

"Oh, of course. I'll show you to the extra closet upstairs. Mother and Alexis always put extra stuff in there, whether they are just tired of it or plan on donating it, or it doesn't fit anymore…there is always something…"

"Great," Kate answered with a smile. "Castle…"

"Yeah?"

"I…just, thanks. For everything. It means…a lot to me."

Castle nodded, "always."

* * *

In the twenty minutes it took for the uni's to get to the loft, both Kate and Castle had been very efficient. Kate showered quickly and raided the 'clean-out closet' for something to wear. She was much taller than both Martha and Alexis so she ended up selecting a flowy summer dress that rested right above her kneecaps. It was definitely not something she would normally wear to the precinct, but she would have to take what she could get.

Castle called Martha in the Hamptons and gave her the cliff notes version of what was happening, promises more details when he had more time, but made her promise to stay in the Hamptons until he gave her the all clear to come home. When he called Alexis it had taken some more convincing, but he'd eventually been able to assure her that he would be fine and that spending some time with Paige and her family in Brooklyn would be the best thing for her. She also demanded details, which he agreed she would get at a later date.

The uni's showed up, flashed their badges and answered with the password without any incident. Kate and Castle sat quietly in the backseat of the squad car, their fingers brushing against each other on the seat.

"I'm trying to figure out what is going on," Kate whispered as they sat in standard NYC traffic on their way to the precinct. "But I don't know where to even start."

"I don't know either," Castle admitted. "Something to do with your case…or your mom's."

"But then why are being be called in? I mean, I resigned and if I'm not at the twelfth then neither are you."

"I guess we'll find out when we get there."

"I don't like this Rick. I feel so powerless."

"Me too."

Kate leaned her head on Castle's shoulder and closed her eyes. Everything from the last twenty fours hours started to hit her and her eyes released a few more tears as she yawned and winced.

"You okay?"

"I'm a bit sore," Kate admitted after a second, "I think the rooftop fight with Maddox is starting to make itself known."

"And maybe other exercise?" Castle asked with a wicked grin and Kate smacked him lightly on the chest.

"Guess that could be a possibility. Don't act so smug."

"Me?" Castle questioned as innocently as possible, "smug?"

"Shut it."

"Yes ma'am."

Kate shook her head, but for the first time since Ryan's phone call she had a genuine smile on her face. It faded though when they finally came into view of the precinct. Kevin Ryan was waiting out front, just under the lip of the building, hands shoved into the pockets of his slacks, his gaze bouncing from building to building. He was nervous or anxious, Kate wasn't sure how to read the uneasiness in her former teammate, but it made her worry.

Kate looked at Castle before leaning in a giving him a kiss.

"Okay," she said with more confidence than she felt. "Let's find out what the hell is going on."

….

**A/N: Pretty please with sugar on top take a second or two and let me know what you think of this story so far. Is it worth going farther?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I am so thankful for all of the positive feedback! Here is the next chapter in this little story…with some case involvement. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Yes, I still don't own them…**

* * *

Detective Kevin Ryan stood anxiously on the steps of the twelfth precinct, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, his eyes darting from building to building. He was paranoid. There wasn't any way to sugarcoat it. But it didn't matter. The last twenty four hours had justified the feeling. His phone vibrated and he pulled it out, nodding at the text message on the screen. Jenny hadn't been happy about leaving him in the city, but he had insisted that she go and stay with her sister in Jersey City until they had a better handle on the situation.

Especially after what they had discovered that morning.

The memories of the sight still made him nauseous. His eyes searched the approaching cars for a sign of the uniforms he'd sent to pick up Beckett and Castle, but he knew they would probably be another ten to fifteen minutes depending on the traffic, based on the time it had taken them to get there. He wanted to go himself and pick them up, but Gates insisted that he needed to stay at the precinct. Ryan had balked at the order, but obeyed it anyways.

He had been restless staring at the murder board though and decided to pass the time waiting…and watching.

Ryan grabbed for his phone when it started vibrating again and pressed it to his ear without looking at the display.

"Ryan."

The line was quiet expect for the sound of breathing and Ryan felt his heartbeat start to race.

"Hello? This is Detective Ryan. Is someone there?"

It was another half minute before there was answer and Ryan was taking the stairs up to the homicide bull pen two steps at a time.

"Make sure you're watching her closely because next time, she won't survive."

The voice was deep and unrecognizable to Ryan's ears, but he's never heard Maddox speak himself. He said a quick prayer of thanks for technology and the ability to record the conversation right from his phone.

"Who is this?" Ryan asked, sure he wouldn't be getting an answer, but trying anyways. "Hello?"

The line went dead and a chill ran through Ryan's veins. He was out of breath when he reached Gates' office and knocked once before entering.

"Detective Ryan?" The captain questioned, eyeing her detective closely. "What is it?"

"Maddox called my cell phone." Ryan answered with a huff and Gates' eyes widened. Ryan played the recording off his phone for her and the concerned look in her eye did not go unnoticed by the detective.

"She's almost here?"

Ryan nodded, "yes sir. They should be here soon."

"Go back downstairs and meet them," Gates told him sternly. "And get Esposito on the phone and get his ass here, do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

Gates dismissed him with a wave of her arm and he watched her as he exited the office. She waited a moment before she picked up her phone and dialed quickly. She was talking animatedly by the time he reached the elevator and he couldn't help but wonder who she was talking to.

Once he arrived back downstairs it was only a minute or two before the squad car with Beckett and Castle pulled up. He motioned for the car to get as close to the door as possible and then hurriedly escorted the partners into the building.

"Kevin," Beckett questioned once the doors to the elevator closed, "what is going on?"

Ryan ignored the questioned and asked one of his own instead. "Have either of you spoken to Esposito today?"

Beckett glanced at Castle worriedly and then answered. "He called this morning," she told her friend, "we both spoke to him. Why?"

"He's not answering my calls and Gates wants him to come in," Ryan answered, "can you call him. If you've already talked to him then he'll answer your call."

"Ryan," Castle started with nod, "you have to tell us what is going on."

"I'll explain everything," Ryan promised, "It will all get explained. But…it is important that Esposito comes in. Can you call him?"

"He's going to want to know what is going on."

"Tell him everything will be explained when he gets here. Tell him to be careful."

Castle nodded and pulled out his phone. Beckett turned to Ryan, "Kevin…?"

The elevator dinged and they stepped out onto the homicide floor before Kate was able to finish her question and they followed Ryan wordlessly to the conference room.

"Coffee?"

"No," Kate answered with a shake of her head. "I don't want coffee Kevin. I want to know what the hell is going on. Is it Maddox?"

"Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle." Captain Gates stood in the door with a small smile on her face and Kate visibly grimaced at the use of her title. "Let Detective Ryan get you coffee or water and I'll explain everything once Detective Esposito arrives." She turned to Ryan, "were you able to get a hold of him?"

Ryan turned to Castle who nodded and answered. "He's on his way in. He is asking questions though."

"So are we," Kate added and picked up the coffee mug that Ryan set down in front of her. "I'm assuming this has to do with Maddox and my case. Or my mother's."

Captain Gates nodded, "Both, we believe actually. I know you have a lot of questions, but it will be easier to explain once Detective Esposito gets here at once. Then we'll tell you everything. Besides, I have a few questions for you both as well."

"Sir?" Beckett questioned and the Captain smiled. "Questions for us?"

"I have a feeling that you have more information on this case than you originally let on," Gates answered honestly and Castle looked down guiltily. "That is what I thought. Would you like to share with the rest of us Mr. Castle?"

"I thought we were waiting for Esposito," Kate rebutted and Gates nodded.

"You're correct. I apologize. I'll be in my office; Ryan please let me know when everyone is here."

"Yes sir." Ryan answered automatically and then turned to Beckett and Castle with an apologetic shrug. "I'm sorry guys. I…God Beckett, I'm so sorry."

"No," Kate assured him, "you did the right thing. I'm not upset with you. I…I could have died yesterday. Without you I probably would have."

"But…"

"No buts," Castle added, "we are grateful for everything. I'm so grateful that you were there for her when I wasn't."

Kate looked at Castle and placed her hand on his arm, "we talked about this already…remember?"

"That doesn't meant I don't still feel guilty."

"You have nothing to feel guilty about. You warned me; put it all out there for me. I made you leave. I forced your hand. Do not feel guilty."

"But…"

"I'm taking it that a congratulations and about damn time is warranted, huh?"

Castle flashed a large grin while Kate took his hand discreetly with her own smirk before answering, "yes."

"Good."

Before they could say anything else the fourth member of their team entered the room, his eyes furrowed in anger and his arms crossed over his chest.

"I'm here, what the hell is going on?"

"We're not sure," Castle answered with a shrug, "they were waiting on you to get here before they told us anything."

Ryan nodded, clearly upset at the fact that his partner was not happy to be there. "Captain figured it would be easier to explain it once."

"Well, where is she?"

"Esposito!" Kate reprimanded, "I know you're upset. But you need to suck it up. Don't blame Kevin for what happened yesterday. We should be thankful that he did the right thing. Javi…" Kate stopped and took a shaky breath. "Javi I would be dead if Kevin hadn't shown up. We went against protocol. We were in the wrong."

Esposito didn't say anything and the look on his face was a mix between guilt and offended but Kate didn't back down.

"We were. And it's hard enough for me to admit that too. I get what you're thinking…but really, we're a team. We have to have each other's backs. And no matter what happens next, whatever they have to tell us, we have to stick together."

"She's right Esposito," Castle added with a sigh. "Whatever they're waiting to tell us…it's going to be bad."

"Mr. Castle is right," Captain Gates affirmed, her presence going unnoticed in the doorway until then. "I was weary about this unusual arrangement when I first arrived here, but…I have seen the success that has come from you all. I was disappointment in the decisions that were made in regards to Detective Beckett's shooting and the secrets that were kept, but I'm willing to overlook that…"

"What?" Kate couldn't keep the question from leaving her mouth and Castle, Esposito, and Ryan all looked at her worriedly. "Uh…sorry, sir…"

"No apologies needed," Captain Gates responded with a ghost of a smile. "But we need to start this. Ryan?"

Ryan nodded and took a step forward with a grim look on his face. "A body was found about three this morning, Donald Holland. He's a executive for a financial firm downtown and was found by his son who went to check on his father when he didn't answer the phone about midnight…"

Kate interrupted, "I'm sorry, you called us in to work a case?"

"Not exactly," Captain Gates answered and motioned for Ryan to continue.

"Holland, he was…tortured, it looks like. Lanie is working on the autopsy and exam, but it was pretty easy to tell. He was most likely killed by the gunshot to the head…"

Esposito and Castle looked at each other, neither saying a word, but all wondering what this had to do with anything.

"There was something left there," Ryan continued, "a calling-card, if you will…"

"Ryan?" Kate asked, her voice catching, afraid for the answer she was expecting.

"It was a picture of you Beckett," Ryan told her straightly and Kate could only nod, her stomach churning and bile rising up in her throat.

* * *

**A/N: This couldn't be a huge surprise…but I'm interested to see what you think. More to come soon! Please leave me a review and let me know what you think! Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: And I have another update for y'all! And this is a long one, mostly case and sort of fluffy in pieces. And I'm taking a lot of creative liberty with how the NYPD works. Any mistakes are mine, as I currently do not have a beta. Let me know if anything needs corrected.**

**Disclaimer: I won't ever own them…**

* * *

The room sat in silence, none of the detectives or Castle speaking and Captain Gates watched the group wordlessly. It was several moments before Kate finally broke the silence.

"What kind of picture?"

Castle looked at her, troubled by the odd question, but kept gracefully quiet. He watched as Ryan and Gates looked at each, Ryan waiting for permission from the captain to continue. She gave a curt nod and Ryan took a deep breath.

"It looks like he's been monitoring you for awhile," Ryan answered finally and Castle watched as Kate pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. "The picture is probably about a week old, but you'll be able to pinpoint a better date as to when it was taken…"

"That's how he knew that we had him," Esposito finally spoke up, his voice thick with something. "He wasn't surprised when we showed up at the hotel because he'd been watching you."

"I don't understand," Kate spoke up, "why…he tried to kill me before? I…the bargain?"

"Bargain?" Gates questioned her hands resting on her hips. "And I think this is where we need everyone to bring what they have to the table."

Kate looked at Castle and reached under the table to grip his hand. Esposito and Ryan already knew of their change in relationship and at the moment she didn't care if Gates found them out or not. She nodded towards him and he sighed.

"Not long after Kate was…was shot I received a phone call from a man who only identified himself as Mr. Smith."

Castle paused, shooting a quick apologetic look to Kate, who smiled and motioned for him to continue. This wasn't going to be easy for her to hear, especially with the remnants of their argument about this topic still fresh in both of their minds. He took a deep breath before continuing.

"Mr. Smith informed me that before Captain Montgomery had died he sent him a file," Castle said, "a file that was going to keep Kate safe. The only problem was that Mr. Smith didn't receive the package until after Kate had been shot. Had he received it before…"

Kate leaned over, "we can't change the past. And that is something you definitely had no control over."

"I know," Castle answered, "I know…it doesn't make it any easier though…"

Gates gave them a moment before prodding further, "did Mr. Smith ever tell you what the package was?"

Castle shook his head, "not specifically, but he did say that it would damage a very powerful person if it were to get out. That is why he was able to bargain for Kate's life. The only string attached is that she had to give up the case. She had to stop looking for her mother's murderer."

"Why did they contact you?" Gates asked and Castle had a feeling she already knew the answer to the question, but he responded anyways.

"They wanted someone to keep her away from it," Castle answered, "to guarantee that she wouldn't go looking into it again. Mr. Smith told me that it was the only way to keep her safe, to keep them from going after her again. I played along. I talked her out of reopening the case when she got back and kept her from looking into her own shooting…"

"Is that all? Is that the only time you were contacted by Mr. Smith."

"Not exactly," Castle admitted with a sigh, drawing strength from Kate's warm hand in his. "And no. Although I kept Kate from looking into her shooting and her mother's murder, I…I started investigating on my own. Just kept trying to find connections…

"And I spoke to Mr. Smith about three times after the initial conversation. He contacted me during the case with the Mayor. Gave some hints that the Mayor was being set up…"

"Why?"

"Why was he being set up or why did Mr. Smith try to help the investigation?"

Gates paused for a minute and then responded, "both."

"The answer is pretty similar actually," Castle admitted after a beat. "They figured that if the Mayor was out of office then I would be out of here. And if I was out of here there wouldn't be anyone to stop Kate from digging up the cases. And if she started digging up the cases again…"

"The deal would be off and they wouldn't be hindered in going after Detective Beckett again."

"Exactly."

Gates nodded silently, "What did you know about this Detective Beckett?"

"Nothing," Kate answered honestly, "not until Ric…Castle told me two days ago."

"Before you went after Maddox?"

"Yes sir," Kate affirmed to allow Captain Gates an accurate estimation of the timeline, "the night before I went after Maddox. Castle tried to warn me…I didn't listen."

"Which would be the reason that he didn't appear at the precinct that day?"

"Yes," Kate responded slowly, "we…we had an argument."

Gates nodded and then turned to Ryan and Esposito, "I'll assume that neither of you had any idea of Mr. Castle's rouge investigation?"

They shook their heads as Castle answered, "I didn't tell anyone here what I was doing sir. I figured the best way to keep Kate safe would be to keep any knowledge I had of anything out of the precinct."

Gates nodded in understanding, "A reckless choice Mr. Castle, but an understandable one. The only thing I don't understand is why did this all come back up?"

"The break in at Montgomery's place," Castle started slowly, "Mr. Smith said they were probably doing a cleanup job. Making sure that he didn't have anything else other than what he sent Mr. Smith that might incriminate whoever is behind this."

"Odd timing though," Gates added almost to herself, "In my opinion. It had been almost a year."

"What if…" Ryan started, "What if they wanted to bring it back to action? Wanted to try and draw Beckett into it again so that they had a reason to go after her."

"Possible," Gates admitted after a second, "but it still doesn't make sense. If it had been buried and there wasn't anything about Beckett looking into it…"

"Then why would they risk it?" Esposito asked. "It seems…hasty."

"Exactly," Gates confirmed with an abrupt nod. "Now, do we know if this Mr. Smith is the same as the dead Mr. Holland?"

Both Rick and Ryan shrugged. "I doubted that Mr. Smith was his real name, but I never had any reason to try and obtain his real identity. And he was nothing more than a shadow in a parking garage when we met; I doubt I'd be able to ID him…"

"Is there anything to connect him to Montgomery?" Esposito questioned leaning forward over the table. "Has the investigation brought out any connections yet?"

Ryan shook his head, "we're still running financials and his past. He seems like the standard executive type, he's widowed, lost his wife three years ago to cancer and has only one child, a daughter who lives in England. She's on her way back now."

"There has to be a connection," Gates offered, "if we think that he could be Mr. Smith. Keep me updated on what we find in financials. If we have to, we'll talk to Evelyn Montgomery. Anything else?"

The remaining four in the room stayed silent. "Alright, Detective Ryan get a hold of his financials and phone records, we need something to tie him to Montgomery if we want to believe he's Mr. Smith. Until we have this figured out Detective Beckett you are to remain under surveillance. Maddox is highly trained and we need to be prepared for anything. I'm going to call in a few favors and get you coverage from some officers that Maddox won't recognize. Detective Beckett I want to see you in my office please and Detective Esposito I will want to see you as soon as I'm done with her. Mr. Castle, stick around for awhile please, I have a few more questions for you."

A chorus of "yes sirs" answered her as she stalked towards her office and waited in the doorway until Kate stood up to follow her.

"Are you okay?" Castle asked her quickly before he released her hand.

"I think so," she told him honestly, "this is…a lot to deal with."

"I know."

"Hey," Kate whispered, forcing him to look up and into her eyes. "Still have no regrets Castle. No matter what happens in her office, this…you and me? We're good. Okay?"

Castle smiled, "yeah?"

"Yeah. Now, I have to go before she has a fit. Stay with Esposito and Ryan…" Her eyes filtered to the familiar desks of her team and she could still feel the tension between them. "Maybe you can get them to kiss and make up."

"I'll try," Castle promised and resisted with everything he had to bring his lips to hers. He knew that things were going to change when they finally got together and he certainly didn't regret a moment of it, but now that he knew his advances were welcome it was going to be difficult to keep his hands to himself, even if they were at work.

He walked over to Esposito's desk and let himself drop into the empty chair by his desk. He waited a few minutes before he spoke. "Do you really think this Holland guy is Mr. Smith?"

Esposito grunted when Ryan started to answer, "Even if he isn't Mr. Smith, he's connected somehow. We wouldn't have found Beckett's picture in his office if he wasn't."

"Yeah," Esposito grudgingly agreed with his partner. He motioned towards Gates' office, "What do you think they're talking about in there?"

"A re-instatement." Castle and Ryan answered at the same time and Esposito looked at them.

Ryan shrugged, "She mentioned this morning after the briefing over Holland's body that she was planning on getting you both in here. I don't think she'll let Beckett in on this case or us for that matter in any real capacity. We're too close to it, you know? But before she hands this to Karpowski and her group Gates wants us to do some leg work. She wanted to know what we could hand her. We'll work with Karpowski, but in order to follow the chain of command we can't have the whole investigation."

"Makes sense," Castle said with a sigh. "But I can't see Kate being happy about that."

"No," Esposito agreed, "but she'll do it, especially if it means catching the son of a bitch."

The three men fell into a silence as the detectives started to look over the reports that had landed on their desks and the writer watched his girlfriend through the blinds of the captain's office.

* * *

"Detective Beckett," Gates greeted with another slight smile as Kate finally entered the office, "please have a seat."

Kate nodded and sat in the empty chair on the opposite side of the captain. She couldn't stop herself from playing with the nail of her thumb, a nervous tick she picked up while she was in high school.

Captain Victoria Gates was studying the detective across from her with a skillfully hidden admiration. She knew that Kate Beckett was the best detective she'd seen in her years with the NYPD and she was not ready to have her off of her team permanently.

"Your resignation caught me off guard."

The captain's words threw Kate for a loop. That certainly wasn't the first thing that she had expected from Gates' mouth.

"And I'm sure it won't surprise you that I have yet to file the paperwork," Captain Gates continued, "mainly because I am hoping to talk you out of it."

"Sir?"

"In an attempt to not beat around the bush Detective Beckett," Captain Gates informed her with a smile, "you're the best I've seen in all my years with the force. Your team's closure rate is well above average and you and your team has done nothing - except this…event over the last few days - but paint the NYPD in a good light. I don't think you should through your career away…"

Kate was dumbstruck. There really wasn't any other way to put it and in the silence that followed the two women appraised each other carefully.

"Also," Captain Gates went on, "It is apparent that congratulations are in order. You and Mr. Castle make a splendid pair, and if you ever tell him I said that, I will vehemently deny it."

Kate coughed, choking on the surprise. "Sir?"

"I know that I give him a hard time," Gates responded ignoring Kate's interruption, "but I do that because this situation is quite out of the ordinary and I'm nothing if a rule-follower. Also, I'm sure you're aware of the rules that the NYPD have for their detective partners in regards to…being intimately involved. However," she continued not missing the wary look on Kate's face, "seeing as Mr. Castle is not a detective and your partnership is a unique experiment, I'm willing to overlook the change in your personal relationship, on one condition…"

"Sir?"

"I don't to see any of it while you are on the clock," Gates informed her with a slight smile. "How you handle your personal life outside of my precinct is up to you. But I don't want to have this affect your work. If it does…I will be forced to reconsider this offer."

"Yes sir."

"Very well then," Gates confirmed with a nod and then reached inside her desk and pulled out Kate's badge and gun. "Are you reversing your decision then?"

"I…yes sir, I am. I appreciate your consideration."

"Please don't make me regret this decision. I'm not going to lie to you detective, you are not completely off the hook, however in the face of this case, I'm willing to bend a few rules."

"Are you putting us on this case sir?"

"Absolutely not," Gates answered, "at least, not officially. If this turns out as a completely random act, though I certainly do not expect that, then you can have this case in full. However in the interim, Detective Karpowski will take the lead. You and your team will provide back up and history with the case."

"I understand sir."

"Good," Gates responded, "you're excused, please send in Detective Esposito."

Kate nodded and stood up to leave. Just before she reached the door Gates' voice stopped her one more time.

"Oh and detective," Gates' voice interrupted the racing of her thoughts. "I believe you were about a month too late."

Kate looked at the captain, no reason to hide her confusion.

The captain laughed slightly, "The office pool, I had you and Mr. Castle pegged for last month."

"I…I didn't realize that was still going on…"

"That it is, or at least was…"

"Do you know who…?"

"That I am not at liberty to say," Gates answered thoughtfully. "But I'm sure it will come out at sometime. Work through some of Mr. Holland's financials with your team this afternoon Detective and then enjoy your evening as best as you can. And don't skirt the protective detail."

"Yes sir."

Kate motioned for Esposito that is was his turn when she exited the office and collapsed into her chair at her desk. The top was void of any personal effects and Kate ran her hand over the blank space. The bag that she had packed was at her apartment and she figured she would have Castle take her there to pick some things up before they headed back to his loft.

She could sense him sitting down next to her and she tried to not allow the grin to grow too large.

"So?" he questioned with a hint of terror in his whispered voice. "What is going to happen? She knows right? We didn't really try to hide it all that well. Am I being kicked out? Kate tell me!"

"Actually," Kate started drawing the word out slowly, "she says congrats and that we were about a month too late by her standards."

"What?"

"That office pool," Kate said and he acknowledged the remembrance of it with a nod "is apparently still going on. And Gates' was off was by a month."

"Who won?"

"She wouldn't say."

"Hum," Castle said, pondering out loud, "I'm going to have to find out."

"Hey," Kate said pulling him back to their conversation, "we do have to watch it here at work though. She said that if this affected our work, well, my work more specifically then she would be forced to kick you out. But she knows that we work well together and therefore she's willing to let it be for now."

"I knew she liked me!"

"I doubt that she would agree with that," Kate said with a laugh, "but keep up the positive attitude."

"I will."

Kate laughed, "How are Ryan and Esposito?"

"They're still tense around each other," Rick answered honestly, "Esposito still seems guarded, but they'll be fine. They were already ganging up on me a little bit."

"Good," Kate answered, "I would feel awful if I caused that partnership to deteriorate."

"I say they're back to normal by the end of the week."

Kate nodded and turned to the file on her desk, "Did you get anywhere while I was in with Gates?"

"No," Castle said with a sigh. "There isn't anything that we can find in Holland's financials that would give us any reason for us to believe he's connected with Montgomery at all."

"There has to be something," Kate said with a grunt, "we're going to find something. What about his history."

"I was waiting for you to get out to start working through that."

"Well, then let's get working."

They started working, in sync as they poured over Holland's history and financials. It was nearly two hours later and they hadn't been able to pin point anything specific enough for their tastes or Gates'. They ate lunch at their desks, cheap sandwiches that Castle had obtained from the vending machine in the break room, and pressed on through their paperwork.

Esposito had come out of Gates' office after a short fifteen minutes, his badge around his neck and gun holstered to his side. He'd settled back into his desk resuming his work on the file that was in front of him without a word to anyone and Kate couldn't help but wonder what was going through his friend's head.

"Beckett!" the familiar voice of Detective Roselyn Karpowski called from across the bullpen. "Dr. Parish as an update on our vic, you and writer boy want to tag along?"

"Yeah," Beckett answered quickly and folded up the file on her desk to stash it while they were away. "Ryan, Esposito we'll be right back. Call me if you find anything."

"You got it boss," Esposito answered without looking away from his paperwork and Castle dutifully followed Karpowski and Beckett from the bullpen. The trio was quiet on the way down to the morgue until Karpowski broke the silence.

"Should have waited another two weeks," she muttered with a quick laugh. "Really thought I had it in the bag."

"Just how long has this pool been going on?" Kate questioned, hands resting on her hips.

Karpowski looked between the couple, "you don't know?"

"Nope," Castle and Beckett answered at the same time and Karpowski laughed.

"Since that case, two, no three years ago now I guess. The one that we were all biding on, tying to hide it from you Kate. After that case we were looking for something else to start betting on and…someone threw out you two has a suggestion. It grew from there."

"Grew?"

"Well when you two didn't get together on the first set of predicted dates," Karpowski explained, "we started this thing were we would pick dates and then if you weren't together we'd extend it more. Put more down, stuff like that."

"How much was the pot up to?"

"Not sure…"

"Karpowski…"

"No, I really don't know. Only the pot holder knows that. That was part of the rules."

"Rules?"

"I've said too much," Karpowski answered with a grin, sliding around the question and out of the elevator doors when they opened. "Let's just say, it was well thought out."

"I still want to know who was behind it," Kate whispered furiously to Castle. "I can't believe they've been betting on us for like three years."

"I think it's sweet."

"Sweet?"

"They cared."

"Oh my god Castle," Kate gasped, "you like this. You like that they've had a bet going on us for years." She paused her eyes narrowing. "Did you participate?"

"No!" Castle assured her quickly, "I didn't know it was still going on."

"STILL?"

"And oh look, we're at the morgue…"

"Don't think this conversation is over…"

"Kate Beckett!" Lanie's voice interrupted their whispered argument, "Girl, we need to talk. Now!"

* * *

**A/N: Ah, our favorite couple now has to face the music to Lanie. I can't wait to see how that conversation plays out for real!**

**And see…Gates is a softy after all! (Anyone have any ideas on who I'm going to have win the pool? I think it's going to be fun!)**

**Okay, bit of honesty here for a second, I'm thrilled with the amount of people who have favorite and/or followed this story since I decided to post it, but I'm a little discouraged with the lack of reviews. It is hard to judge how the story is coming across without them. Please try to take a minute and let me know what you think, okay?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: On to the next chapter…thank you everyone for the continued support! I'm so glad you are enjoying my little story! Anything to pass the time before season 5 starts!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I certainly wish I did!**

* * *

"Kate Beckett!" Lanie's voice interrupted their whispered argument, "Girl, we need to talk. Now!"

Kate shook her head, "we have to discuss the vic first. But we'll talk, I promise."

"We better," Lanie grumbled and then started muttering to herself, "disappeared after almost falling off a building and then won't answer her phone. Have to find out from the office pool that I'd finally lost…"

Karpowski cleared her throat, "What did you want to show us Dr. Parish?"

Lanie looked back to the trio around the autopsy table and shelved her anger for a moment to focus on the victim. "Mr. _ Holland, fifty four years old, was in very good health until yesterday. His heart was strong; he certainly kept active and ate well. He didn't smoke, all around healthy guy. And he was definitely tortured."

She pulled back the white sheet and Kate felt bile rising in her throat. The man on the table looked nothing like the picture in the file that Ryan had given her earlier. Large blue and purple bruises covered a majority of his face and slashes lined his arms and chest. She reached for Castle's hand and squeezed, gathering all the comfort that small act could hold. It wasn't that this was the worse she had ever seen, because in all of her years as a cop, she'd seen worse. This was about the fact that the man that had done this was most likely after her.

Kate took a couple steady breaths to try and take control of her nerves again.

Lanie was talking again and she could see Karpowski scribbling notes onto her notepad, but she couldn't focus on anything but keeping herself from falling apart. In the next few minutes she stood rooted in place, barely breathing her eyes roaming the man's now disfigured face in front of her. It took her several moments to realize that Castle was ushering her out of the room, leaving Lanie and Karpowski still discussing the body in the other room.

"Castle," Kate protested, "what are you doing?"

Castle shook his head and continued to maneuver her into the hallway.

"Castle!"

"You looked like you were going to pass out," Castle started slowly, "or throw up. We decided you'd been in there long enough."

"Don't coddle me Castle," Kate argued with a slap to his chest. "I'm fine."

"Bull shit."

"Hey!"

"You're not fine Kate," Castle said slowly. "And it's okay to not be fine. It's okay. You don't have to pretend like you have it all under control when you don't. Especially around me, okay? I know what this is doing to you. I know. And it's okay."

"It's not okay!" Kate yelled. "That man in there, he's dead. Because of me. His daughter just lost her last parent, because of me. ME! So don't you stand there and tell me that everything is okay! It's NOT OKAY!"

She finally broke and the sobs shook her body and Castle pulled her into his chest and held her tightly there, despite her attempts to get free. He held her tightly until she reached the stage of sobbing where she was more whimpering, her arms wrapped around him too.

"This is never going to be over," Kate whispered around her tears. "And I don't know how to handle that."

"It isn't something you have to know," Castle assured her with a sigh. "We'll figure this out, together, okay?"

She nodded and pulled back enough so that she could wipe the tears from her face. She took several steady breaths and then reached up and brought her lips to his in a very brief, chaste meeting. "Thank you."

Castle smiled, "always."

They stood there in the hallway of the morgue, not speaking, for several minutes before Karpowski finally found them. She eyed them for a minute with a smile before making her presence known.

"Um, Beckett?"

"Yeah?"

"Lanie is requesting your presence in her office," she answered with a sly grin. "And I was told to tell you quote, leave the writer boy outside so she can get the dish."

Castle and Beckett both chuckled before she pulled all the way away from him to head to her best friend's office. She looked back at him for a second and asked, "Wait for me?"

"Of course."

Kate nodded before walking down the hallway. He watched her until she reached the door of Lanie's office and slipped inside. When he stopped watching her he realized that Karpowski was still standing next to him, her eyes on him.

"Sorry about that," he stammered, "in there…I mean. Kate…"

"Don't even mention it Castle," Karpowski said, waving him off. "Beckett, she's a different type of person…stronger than most, but that doesn't mean this isn't going to run her down. I don't think I'd be able to handle this at all if I were in her shoes. We'll catch the bastard that did this, give her some peace."

"God I hope you're right."

"We will," Karpowski repeated finality in her voice that reassured Castle immensely. "I'm going to head back up to the precinct. Let the protective detail know when you're ready to leave and they'll escort you and Beckett back. Okay?"

"Got it," Castle answered, "and thanks. For everything."

Karpowski only nodded before leaving and Castle was left alone in the quiet hallway. He forced himself to stay put and not try to eavesdrop on Kate and Lanie's conversation. He pulled out his phone to find something to occupy himself with.

* * *

Kate slipped into her best friend's brightly lit office and sank into the loveseat along the wall. She slipped her feet out of her heels and brought her knees up her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. When she rests her chin on her knees she lets her hair fall down in her face. Lanie is smiling when Kate finally brings her eyes up to her friend.

"You look happy."

Kate smiled, feeling completely goofy and girly and she doesn't seem to care. "I mostly am. This case…everything around that is…unsettling, but everything else. Everything else is really, really good…"

Lanie is practically glowing in her friend's news. "I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted details Kate. What happened? How did this happen? How many times did this happen."

Kate laughed heartily and then sobers quickly. "How much did Javi tell you?"

"Not much," Lanie admitted with a sigh. "He…he wouldn't talk about anything. Nothing."

"Well," Kate started with groan, "he needs to be the one that tells you some of it. But I'll tell you my part."

She gives her best friend a slightly condensed version of the conversation that she and Castle had in her apartment before he left her and the feeling she had when she told Javi and Kevin that he was off the team. She gave a quick rundown of how they had found Maddox and her decision to go after him, without backup, even has Kevin protested. She grazed quickly over finding the album and her and Javi getting ambushed in the hallway and her chase to the roof and the fight there. She is grateful when Lanie doesn't interrupt and continues through her resignation in Gates' office and the walking aimlessly in the rain. She pauses when she gets to that part and a smile breaks out on her face, wider than before.

"Ooo," Lanie gasps, "this is where it really starts getting good, doesn't it?"

Kate nodded, "I really had thought I had completely lost my chance. He wouldn't answer my phone call, but it didn't matter at that point. I was already at his building. I figured that he would have to hear me out if I came in person."

"And?"

Kate giggled, actually giggled, "And I practically attacked him as soon as he opened the door. I mean, he asked me what I was doing there and then I attacked him."

"I'm guessing you mean with your lips?"

"Yeah," Kate answered with a grin. "He didn't respond at first and I really thought I was too late, but I apologized and told him that I only wanted him and I gave him a very, very brief explanation as to what had happened and then we…"

"You…"

"I'm sure you can fill in the rest of the blanks for yourself."

Lanie groaned in exasperation, "I don't want to have to fill in the blanks for myself girlfriend! I want you to tell me!"

Kate only smiled.

"At least rate it for me. I mean, come on…I need some sort of details from you girl."

Kate looked away with a grin. With the faraway look in her eyes Lanie knew that she was revisiting the moments from last night and when Kate finally turned back towards her, Kate's eyes were saying everything.

"Lanie," Kate sighed, "there isn't a way to describe it with words. I mean, god this sounds so cheesy, but it was perfect Lanie. So perfect. Every time."

"Ooo!" Lanie exclaimed, "more than once? Even after the fight?"

"Oh yeah," Kate confessed, "It's like we couldn't get enough. Once for every year he's been shadowing me…"

"FOUR TMES!"

Kate laughed and nodded.

"Girl," Lanie said, fanning herself, "I'm so happy for you. And jealous. Girl, seriously? Four times…impressive."

"He really is."

"Ooo! He'll kill you if he finds out you're telling me all of this."

Kate scoffed, "oh please, it'll just feed his ego. He'd be thrilled that we are talking about how…impressive he is."

"True," Lanie agreed in laughter. "Kate, I'm really happy for you. For both of you. I'm glad that everything worked out, you know, after the blonde bimbo and stuff."

"Me too," Kate assured her friend. "Thanks for listening to me even when I was crazy."

"You're still crazy, but that is what best friends are for. Don't forget, I get to pick my own maid of honor dress when the time comes."

Kate shook her head, "don't bring that up now. You're only going to freak me out."

"Are you saying you aren't going to marry him?"

"I'm saying it's way, way, way too early to even think about that Lanie. Way too early. I…I can't think about that right now."

"Fine, I get it."

"Tell me about what's going on with you and Javi. I'm assuming that he came to you yesterday, after…everything?"

"He did."

"And...?"

"And what? I told you that we're doing the causal thing."

"Are you really happy with that?"

Lanie shrugs and Kate uncurls herself from the sofa to wrap her friend in a hug. It's out of character for her to be touchy-feely, but she can feel the shift inside of her that happened as a result of the earthquake that is Rick Castle that brought her wall down. She's letting herself be happy, despite being scared, and knows that to keep it like this she's going to have to work at it.

This is the starting point.

"Don't make the same mistakes I did Lanie," Kate whispered to her friend. "You and Javi, you're like Rick and I or Kevin and Jenny, meant to be. And I know, I know, cheesy, but the truth."

Lanie nodded, "I know. And thanks…you know for that. We'll figure things out. We just need time."

"Okay," Kate replied with a smile. "I should probably get back to Castle. I'm sure he's out there pacing trying to figure out what we're talking about."

"Be safe Kate," Lanie warned. "Okay?"

"I'm not going to take any chances, don't worry."

"Good. Talk to you later."

"Bye Lanie."

When Kate walked into the hallway she covered her mouth to stifle the laugh that bubbled up inside of her. Castle was sitting in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs that lined the wall, his head titled back, resting on the wall, his mouth open and eyes closed. He was even drooling a little bit.

Kate snapped a picture with her phone before going to wake him up.

"Castle," Kate whispered into his ear, "Rick, wake up."

"Hum?"Came his sleepy reply. "Kate?"

"Yeah Rick," Kate answered softly, "I'm right here. Wake up Rick, its lunchtime."

"Hungry."

"Me too," Kate told him and kept the laughter out of her voice as much as possible. His eyes blinked a few times, adjusting to the brightness of the morgue's hallway. "Let's get something to eat."

"M'kay."

Kate threaded her fingers through his and pulled on his arm to get him to stand up. It isn't until Kate pulls him into the bright summer sun does Castle finally feel completely awake.

"I didn't realize I was so tired," Castle complained as he slid his sunglasses onto his face, pausing only for a moment until he sees their protective detail, dressed in plain clothes, and standing next to a dark grey undercover police car.

"We were awfully busy last night," Kate replied with a grin, letting herself drift closer to him. They haven't talked about how they're going to handle being seen publically yet. She isn't comfortable with the thought of her face being plastered all over the newspapers and tabloids. Even the idea of it makes her a little sick to her stomach.

At the same time she knows that she is going to have to deal with at some point. She is what? Dating, in a relationship, partners with Richard Castle. No matter how she looks at it, there are going to be press lines, interviews and paparazzi she is going to have to deal with. Maybe she'll ask Alexis how she deals with it. The teenager would be able to help.

Alexis. She feels awful for pushing the girl off on her friends the day after graduation. Especially since she's supposed to be spending time with her father. Kate is determined not to get between them, not force Castle to choose. She loves Alexis and is hoping that Alexis is happy with this new development.

"We need to talk to Alexis."

Her voice is so quiet that Castle isn't sure he's heard it at all at first.

"We will," he assured her with a grin. "She's smart, she might have already figured it out."

"I want to go home Castle."

He heart clenches when she says that word and he stops in the middle of the sidewalk. Ignoring the nasty looks he's getting from the other pedestrians. Kate takes a few more steps before she realizes that he's stopped and she turns back to face him.

"Castle, what's wrong?"

He shakes his head, "nothing. I'm fine. Okay, let's get lunch and then I'll drop you off at your apartment."

Kate is shaking her no before he's even finished with his sentence. She takes a few steps forward until she is only inches away from his chest. Intimate, despite the very public location. "No," she said firmly, "not what I mean Rick. Not at all what I meant. I want to go home, with you. I want to go pick up Alexis, get take out for dinner or lunch or whatever meal you want to call it, curl up on the couch with you both and watch movies for the rest of the day. I don't want to think about this case, or Maddox, or murder. I just want to keep this happy feeling."

She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him close and felt the tension melt off of him. They stood there on the sidewalk, arms wrapped around each other for several moments before Castle finally started to pull away.

"Okay," he said, his voice stronger than she expected, "I'm sorry…"

"No," she interrupted with a smile, "don't need to apologize. I wasn't thinking when I blurted that out. We're going to take some time to get adjusted to this. And that's okay. But know this, I'm in. Totally and completely in. Even if I'm not at the loft constantly or I don't move in right away, I'm in. I'll do whatever it takes to convince you of that."

"I'm already convinced," he whispered, placing a gentle kiss against her forehead. "But you're right, it's going to take some time to realize, really realize, that this is actually happening."

"It's definitely happening Rick. Unquestionably."

"Good."

"Come on," Kate insisted pulling on his arm, "We'll run by the precinct, make sure there isn't anything I need to do, tell Gates I'm taking the rest of the day and then we'll go pick up Alexis."

"Sounds like a great plan to me."

* * *

**A/N: Longest chapter so far and I had to force myself to end it here. Excited for the next one though! I think it's my favorite so far!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Wow! The response to this story has been so fantastic! I love you all, everyone who has favorited or followed or reviewed this story. You make it so worth it! So a million thanks. Once again, I don't have a beta, so mistakes are mine. I try to be as thorough as possible, but issues get by. Let me know if there are any serious issues and I'll correct them! **

**Disclaimer: I won't ever own them, but it's nice to dream…**

* * *

About an hour later Beckett and Castle were leaving the precinct for the day, still with no leads as to how Montgomery and Holland were connected. Gates was agreeable in their request for a short day and for that Beckett was extremely grateful. Esposito and Ryan, who had seemed pretty much back to normal when they arrived back from the morgue, had promised to call them if anything turned up that afternoon and if nothing did, they would be calling Evelyn Montgomery in for some information first thing in the morning.

"I still feel bad for leaving them to do all the work," Kate complained only a few minutes after leaving the precinct, steering out into the midday traffic in the direction of Brooklyn. "I know I shouldn't…"

"But you're kind of a workaholic," Castle finished, "I get that. And it's understandable, but you can't let yourself drown in this Kate. There wasn't much we were going to be able to do anyways…"

"I know," Kate replied with a sigh. "We're not going to get any answers until we talk to Evelyn, that much I know. It's just…"

"I know."

They fell into a comfortable silence as Kate maneuvered her way easily through the complicated New York City streets. She was letting her mind wander, mostly about the case, and trying to figure out why she was still alive.

"Do you think Maddox has the file that Montgomery sent Holland?"

"We don't know for sure that Holland is the right guy?"

"I do Castle," Kate answered her tone sober, "I just have this feeling. It is connected. It has to be."

"You don't know that…"

"Do you really think that it isn't him? Honestly? Because if you can honestly give me another scenario I'll take it into consideration."

"I…I wish I could."

"Exactly," Kate said with a strangled laugh. "Not even you, who can make up the most ridiculous theories, have another explanation for this. I just…I hate not knowing. I hate feeling like I'm being followed…"

"Well technically, you are..."

"This isn't a time for jokes Rick. Please try to be serious here."

"I'm sorry," he answered solemnly, "I just…it's how I deal with things. I know that isn't how you work, I'm sorry."

"No, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I'm sorry. This all just has me on edge."

"It's fine," he assured her with a smile and threaded his fingers through hers. "We're fine."

"I know," she replied with a smile. "Thank you for being here, for dealing with this with me. It, it is actually making things easier to handle."

"I'll always be here for you Kate," Rick guaranteed with a passion in his voice that made Kate's heart speed up. "Always."

"Good," she responded with a happy sigh, "good, that's very good."

"I'm glad you think so," he teased and she pulled her hand away to swat at his arm in mock outrage, before threading her fingers through his again. "Did you call Alexis and let her know we were on our way to pick her up?"

"Yeah," Rick told her. "She was asking questions again, but I told her we would fill her in when we picked her up."

"She…she knows I'm with you?"

"Uh, yeah? Is that okay?"

"Of course," Kate said quickly, "I just…I wasn't sure what you wanted to tell her, you know, about us? Is she going to be okay with this?"

"With us?" Castle questioned, "Kate she loves you. She'll be fine with this."

"Are you sure?"

"Why do ask?"

"I dunno," Kate answered honestly and drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. "I just…sometimes I'm not sure how much she likes me…"

"She doesn't know about the shift in our relationship yet," Castle told Kate, placing his hand reassuringly on her leg, "But I really don't think you have anything to worry about. She knows…she knows how I feel about you Kate."

"Okay," Kate replied with a nod, "okay, okay good. Good."

"Are you nervous?"

"A little bit."

"Why?"

"She's your daughter Rick," Kate answered simply, "I know…I know if it were my dad, I would have…concerns. It just…it's hard to explain, okay? I don't know."

"Hey," Rick interrupted, thankful for the red light and forcing Kate to look at him, "it's going to be okay. I love my daughter Kate, I do. More than I ever thought it was possible to love another human. Being a parent, it changes things for a person. But don't think I'm going to let her concerns win without a pretty damn huge fight. We'll figure this out. Work together, all of us, to make this work, okay? I love you Kate. So much. And I'm not about to allow anything to keep us apart. Not now, not when I know what I could be missing."

Kate blinked away the tears that flooded into her eyes just in time to start driving again when the light turned green.

"You can't do that."

"What?"

"Make me cry when I'm trying to drive," she said with a hint of teasing in her voice. She paused for a moment before speaking again, this time all hints of teasing were gone. "But seriously, thank you."

"For what Kate?"

"Everything," she answered with a smile. "As cheesy as it sounds, I don't think I could do this without you. I love you too, you know."

"I know."

"So smug."

"You know I have every reason to be."

"Oh please," Kate said with a groan, "and how do I know this exactly?"

"All I have to say is this Kate Beckett, four times."

Kate couldn't keep the laugh from bubbling up and she struggled to get control again while she was driving. "I told Lanie that you would be conceited about that."

"You talked about me to Lanie?"

Kate laughed again, "Please Castle, she's my best friend. You had to expect that to happen."

Castle nodded, "yeah, totally did."

"Would you tell me where I'm going," Kate interrupted, "I don't want to get lost because you're not paying attention to where we are."

"I'm completely paying attention to where we are!"

"Then where am I supposed to turn?"

"They live on Carroll Street, off of 7th Ave. It's not hard to get to."

"Okay," Kate replied, "now stop distracting me so I don't miss the turn."

They reverted back to the comfortable silence for the rest of the trip into Brooklyn to pick up Alexis from her friend's house. When they arrived at the brownstone Kate elected to stay in the car, double-parked, while Castle ran up to the door to let Paige's parents know that they were there. Glancing in the rearview mirror Beckett picked out the dark sedan that had been following them. As annoyed as she had been originally at the thought of a protective detail, she had to admit that it made her feel better to know that they were there.

A few minutes later two of the doors of her car where opening and the Castle's were reentering her car, Alexis already seemingly drilling her father for whatever information she could get out of him.

"I already told you to wait until we got home…"

"Hi Alexis," Kate said greeting the teenager as she climbed into the back of Kate's Crown Vic. "Hey Castle, you can go ahead and tell her if you want. I don't mind doing it in the car…"

"I don't want you to be distracted."

"I'll be fine Rick," Kate insisted, "Besides, we still have to stop by my apartment…"

"That's right," Castle replied with a nod, "I almost forgot you wanted to do that before we headed to the loft."

"I just need to grab a few things, won't take long."

"Doesn't matter either way."

Both of them missed the smirk that started to form on Alexis' face during their exchange and were startled when her voice spoke up from the backseat.

"So that is what that text meant."

They both turned around quickly and studied Alexis' face in curiosity. Alexis only grinned and grabbed her phone out of her purse and started typing quickly.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked quietly, wondering what the girl could be taking about. "What text?"

"From Detective Karpowski," Alexis answered not looking up from her phone with a chuckle. "I didn't pay too close attention to what she really meant."

"Alexis, pumpkin, are you going to tell us what is going on. And why are you texting Karpowski?"

"You're a couple now, right?"

Kate and Rick looked at each other and the lack of answer confirmed Alexis' suspicions.

"It's about time you two," Alexis continued with a smirk, "but I'm happy with the timing."

"You're okay with this?" Castle started tentatively and Alexis' head snapped up quickly. "With us, being…together."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"We," Kate started but was interrupted with Castle clearing his throat, "fine, I was worried that you…would be leery about this, um, development."

Alexis put her phone down before speaking to the adults in the front seat, "Why? I truly think it's great that you two finally smarted up. I wasn't sure if it would ever happen, especially after your…the dates with that stewardess dad. But I'm happy for you guys, honest."

"Thanks sweetie," Castle answered and grabbed his daughter's hand with a squeeze. "That means a lot…to both of us."

"It really does Alexis," Kate agreed with a smile, her eyes bright. "I know…just thanks."

Alexis nodded and turned back to her phone.

"Hey wait," Castle said a few moments later, his thoughts replaying through the conversation. "What text from Karpowski?"

"She told me to spend it wisely," Alexis told them with a chuckle, "but like I said, I hadn't been paying attention to it really at the time and didn't get what she meant."

"What did she mean?" Kate asked.

"I won."

"Won what?" Castle asked and it sent Alexis into another burst of laughter.

"Wait, really?" Kate asked her lips turning into a mixture of a smirk and a snarl.

Alexis nodded, "Yup. And I didn't think I had a chance."

"I'm so confused," Castle murmured with a pout and Kate took pity on him and grabbed his hand in hers.

"She won the bet Castle."

"Oh…wait, you were in on the bet?"

"Yup," Alexis said with a content grin on her face. "So thanks!"

"How much did you win?"

"Not sure," Alexis responded with a shrug, "I'll find out when I'm in next."

"Who was the banker?"

"Frank," Alexis responded distractedly, "oh crap, I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Please forgot I mentioned that."

"Frank huh?" Castle questioned with a nod, "good ole Frank has been keeping me out of the loop. Might have to talk to him about that…"

"Dad!"

"Castle!"

"What?"

"Don't you dare say anything," Kate warned, "we weren't supposed to know."

"Still…"

"Don't dad! I forgot that was supposed to stay confidential!"

"Fine," Castle pouted, "I won't say anything. Between the two of you, I'm never going to win an argument again, am I?"

The two women answered in together, without looking at each other, with a simple, "Yup."

Castle only groaned.

* * *

When they pulled up to Kate's building she pulled into her normal parking spot and killed the engine. She turned to look at the occupants of the car and smiled.

"You can come up with me while I pack a bag really quick or stay in the car…doesn't matter to me."

"I'd like to come up," Alexis said slowly, "I've never been to your apartment before and I'd like to see it…if that's okay?"

"Of course," Kate answered with a smile and then turned and looked at Rick. Her smile only grew as he grinned back at her. "Rick?"

"I'll stay here," Rick said with a wink as he waved his phone, "I should probably check in with Black Pawn, I've missed a call or two from them today."

"Rick!"

"What?" Castle replied with a shrug, "it'll only be about promotion for Frozen Heat. And I have to finish the acknowledgements and dedication. Not a big deal Kate, promise. But this will give me a chance to call them."

"Sounds like a plan Ricky," Kate answered with a teasing grin as he grimaced, "okay, okay, not Ricky. We'll be back soon, I won't be long, promise."

"Let the officers do a sweep before you enter…"

"Rick I don't think…"

"Please, that's what they are there for Kate."

"Fine," Kate agreed reluctantly and turned towards the protective detail car that was about a hundred yards away from them and waved them other. "Officers, I appreciate your services."

"Our pleasure Detective Beckett," the taller one, whose name was Micah Reynolds if she remembered correctly, answered a touch of southern accent in his voice, "if you'd let us know what apartment number yours is we'll do a sweep before you and Ms. Castle go on up. We'll do the same at Mr. Castle's before ya'll head up for the night."

"Captain Gates filled you in on the plan then," Kate responded with a sigh as the other officer nodded. "That sounds good, thank you. And I'm apartment four-oh-three. Elevator is right through those doors."

The two men nodded and headed towards the elevator.

Alexis looked between her father and Detective Beckett her eyebrows furrowing, "you are definitely filling me in on everything when we get to the loft. How long are you staying with us Detective Beckett?"

"Alexis, please call me Kate," the older woman answered and then shrugged, "and honestly, I'm not sure. A couple days at least."

Castle knew she was leaving the real answer unsaid.

_Until I feel safe again_.

"Will you tell me what's going on?"

"Alexis…" Castle started to protest and Kate shook her head at him. "You don't have to Kate…"

"I do," she argued, "she deserves to know, especially if I'm going to be at the loft and you're coming with me to the precinct everyday. She's an adult now Rick, no matter how much you want to protect her, she deserves to know."

"I'm not going to like this," Alexis started, "am I?"

Kate took a deep breath before answering, "no, probably not."

"Thanks for being honest with me."

"I will always try to answer you as honestly as possible," Kate promised with a smile and Alexis leaned in to give the older woman a hug. It caught Kate a little bit by surprise and when she looked over Alexis' red hair, her eyes locked with Rick's, and they were brimming with tears. He mouthed, 'thank you' and Kate just nodded a small smile on her face.

"Detective Beckett," the southern voice of Officer Micah called from the entrance of her apartment building, the grim look on his face sending chills down her spine. "We've already called it in…"

"What is it officer?"

"Your apartment has been trashed."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter…it ended up going in a little bit different of a direction than I originally thought, but I'm excited with where it is going now. Let me know what you think is working, or not working. Thanks!**


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